Last edited on 19 November 2017 - 01:18 AM by Ryankoo1
A darling relationship that was doomed to fallA love story that shall exceed them all
though a tragedy, we ought to respect
A bond that stayed passionate right till the end
The story unfolds in a land full of blocks
A land where there are no circle rocks
A harmonious world, the sun would never set
Lived thousands upon thousands of arena sweats
They spent day and night practicing the blade
Their thirst for elo was unquenchable, incredible I say
A slight drop in elo caused immense hatred and anger
Some even yelled "kill yourself you piece of shit cancer!"
But hey, dab on the haters, life was all well and good
Now here comes the love story, lets change the current mood
In this land full of cubes resided Mr Archy and Mrs Lizzy
A bond stronger than obsidian, I know that sounds cheesy!
But where there's love and euphoria there's inevitably evil
This world was no exception, there lived a malicious devil
He harboured no morals, rightfully the world was very wary
An unempathetic being he was, his name went by MasterGBerry
He noticed the world was happy, upset he proceeded to bellow
"Happiness must cease to exist… that's it I'll get rid of elo!"
"I shall replace elo with six ranks, what a great idea that is!"
"muhahahahahaha" he laughed, "there's no coming back from this!"
Archy, how foolish he was, forgot he too was just a mortal
"By dawn I'll return" he muttered, "Open the nether portal"
"I must obtain xp to create an op sword", and then he swore
"I shall slay the Master of Gberrys with a sharp 5 sword!"
His darling Liz tried all her might to tame the fool
"MasterGberry is /oped Archy", she cried "is your mind dull?"
"Liz, it is my destiny to free this world from the beast"
"Once I slay him" he muttered, "we shall have a feast"
and there he disappeared into a blur of purple…
Part 2 coming soon :^)
Disclaimer: I was bored, please don't take anything I say here seriously.
Last edited on 24 October 2017 - 12:20 PM by Asorn
Best story I've ever read. After finishing it, it felt like a part of me was gone.Posted on 24 October 2017 - 01:02 PM
@ArchybotPosted on 24 October 2017 - 01:10 PM
HolyPosted on 24 October 2017 - 03:54 PM
BeautifulPosted on 25 October 2017 - 04:42 AM
You couldn't have written this.Posted on 25 October 2017 - 04:52 AM
lost a bet?Last edited on 25 October 2017 - 09:13 AM by Ryankoo1
animalKIKZO wrote
Not quite, I was bored so a friend told me to write a fanfic about badlion. He said I wouldn't so had to prove him wrong! :D
Posted on 25 October 2017 - 05:53 AM
Pika12X wrote
Can't say I'm proud but I did
Posted on 25 October 2017 - 07:47 AM
I love it.Posted on 25 October 2017 - 07:59 AM
PoisonShadows wrote
Love you more xx
Posted on 25 October 2017 - 08:39 AM
I love it, very beautifully written ;)Posted on 25 October 2017 - 08:58 AM
Is this about the guy who made a forum post saying a girl is interested in him because she told him not to die?Posted on 25 October 2017 - 08:58 AM
animalSKWURT wrote
asking for relationship advice in the very same thread?
Posted on 25 October 2017 - 10:11 AM
animalSKWURT wrote
no
Posted on 25 October 2017 - 04:52 PM
this is so good. can't wait for part 2Posted on 25 October 2017 - 05:16 PM
Minecrafters turn into poets!??!!Posted on 25 October 2017 - 07:00 PM
SolidPosted on 25 October 2017 - 09:37 PM
i hate itPosted on 25 October 2017 - 11:40 PM
This was really great, however a lot of the rhymes weren't really very solid. Good and mood do not rhyme although they have a similar ending. Same with Lizzy and cheesy, I'll just list them out.Respect, end???
Blade, say
Set, sweats (the s throws it off)
Anger, cancer (ger vs cer, it kind of works but also not too well)
Good, mood
Lizzy, cheesy
Devil, evil
Bellow, elo
Is, this
Swore, sword
There was also some decent use of iambic pentameter on some lines, but others didn't use it, kind of breaking the rhythm. A lot of the rhymes you made could be made to rhyme just via slam rhyme, as some great poets (even some like Shakespeare) use it, although some of them would be really awkward. You could like say Bee-low for bellow to make it sound like elo, this could be something like thiz for is (which is pronounced more like iz) so the rhyming does mostly work, but there are some parts where it doesn't.
A good thing to remember about poetry is that the rhythm is the most important thing. Prioritise something like iambic pentameter (if you don't know what that is, I'd advise you look it up, it's just a hard syllable follow by a soft syllable [iambic] repeated 5 times [pentameter] for a total of 10 syllables) over rhymes, because although rhymes definitely do help, they are hard to incorporate and can often make word selection difficult. Overall though, this is a really neat and cute poem and I think you've done a great job for a meme.