Last edited on 31 January 2016 - 10:56 PM by Morsinius
Write me good stories, I'll critique themYou can also critique each other's if you really want to but this only for my personal entertainment
Posted on 31 January 2016 - 10:05 PM
Does it have to be a long story or 1 to 3 paragraphs?Last edited on 31 January 2016 - 10:15 PM by Morsinius
considerations wrote
Totally up to you; make it however long you like. It doesn't even have to be a complete story– you could even give me a small excerpt from something that's a work in progress. It just has to be part of a story is all
Last edited on 31 January 2016 - 10:28 PM by SuperSandwish
I would post one but its super cringy and doesnt even make sensePosted on 01 February 2016 - 12:26 AM
One day I played a uhc and diedThe end
Last edited on 01 February 2016 - 01:42 AM by Physic
There once was a man, a man who could morph into anything he imagined. But his childhood was tragic, at only the age of 7 he hit his head on concrete, losing much of his memory and making him virtually brain dead with little intelligence.This man woke up one day and said "I want to turn into a STATE!"
Much perplexed by his own ambitions, and with knowledge of his mental handicap, he came to the decision of morphing into @Alaska
jk <3
Posted on 01 February 2016 - 04:25 PM
Physic wrote
This man woke up one day and said "I want to turn into a STATE!"
Much perplexed by his own ambitions, and with knowledge of his mental handicap, he came to the decision of morphing into @Alaska
jk <3
Non-fiction? Not bad, but you made a few errors that I'd like to point out.
I think it's fine story-wise, but some of your wording is very awkward. I'd shorten the first sentence to simply "There was once a man who could morph into anything he imagined." The next part is a bit messy, too. There's no transition from one thought to the next, and "but" doesn't quite fit in that context. I'd probably start the second sentence with "It should be noted" and continue from there. I'd then rephrase the last sentence altogether. I know what you're trying to say, but it's very strangely phrased and I advise that you rewrite it.
You've also got some grammar-related errors that should be fixed. I'm generally lenient when it comes to comma splices, but the context in which you use it in sentence 2 isn't grammatically acceptable. Change the comma to a semicolon, a period, or a dash. A colon be acceptable here, too. You also need a comma after "said," as you're quoting someone.
Posted on 01 February 2016 - 04:26 PM
SkillAuraOnly wrote
The end
your story sucks
Posted on 01 February 2016 - 04:28 PM
Morsinius wrote
SkillAuraOnly wrote...
your story sucks
Harsh but accurate :C